Spiritual Toolbox Answer

Since the family was not responding to the doctor, and time was of the essence in making a decision, I chose to intervene, from the side, as it were.  I asked the doctor for permission to speak, which he granted.  I asked the woman if she comprehended the situation.  She seemed baffled by the quick turn of events, so I asked her if she understood what had happened.  She seemed to grasp what the doctor had told her, but did not apparently understand what she was being required to decide.  So, glancing at the doctor, and asking him (keeping him directly engaged in the immediate conversation) if I was “getting it right” – he affirmed that I was – I basically repeated the situation to her in my words, with the doctor nodding.  Then I asked her if she understood that her husband was dying and that there was no reasonable hope for recovery.  This was the first time that those words were used; some euphemisms were used by the doctor, but I took the initiative to introduce the gravity of the situation to the wife and other family members.

At this point, the wife seem to rise from her confusion and was awakened, as it were, to the reality at hand.  She replied, asking if he was, in fact dying.  The doctor nodded that, yes, he was and that there was no reasonable hope to restore him to any health.  She asked if her husband were in any pain.  The doctor assured her that he was not.  She further inquired if removing him from the machine would cause him any pain.  The doctor responded that, no, this would not cause him any pain.

Then she looked at me and asked me if this would be offensive to God – would she be committing a sin? – if she were to tell the doctor to stop the machines.  I replied that no, this would not be offensive to God.  She would not be committing any sin; she would not be taking her husband’s life.  As the doctor had stated, there was no reasonable hope for his recovery.

She agreed, with her children’s support, to have all machines turned off and to allow her husband to take his final breath. I was allowed in to anoint him and to say the prayers for the dying.  The family did not accompany me for this; only some staff was present. After this, the machines were turned off, the man simply stopped breathing and he passed away